July 14th, 2013
Generosity of Spirit
A post from England…
Landon and I end each day snuggling together before we go to sleep, telling each other what we are grateful for. It feels so good to stop and look back on the day, take a moment and then talk about our gratitude.
Usually, we have a whole list of things, but I also find it useful to pick out the one thing that stands out. Sometimes it is what would have passed as a tiny thing—that Landon and I connected in the middle of the day with a hug and a moment looking into each other’s eyes. Or that I had a great conversation with a friend or a family member. So I notice that, for me, connecting with others is usually at the top of my ‘most grateful for’ list.
We’ve been doing this ritual now for years and it keeps being very satisfying. Recently, I suggested that we add something else: to acknowledge each other for something from the day. That takes a bit more and is also a good barometer to tell how connected we are with each other. If I’m feeling close to Landon, it is easy to acknowledge him. If we’re even a bit distant, it is harder. Such a good ‘wake up call’.
Gay and Katie Hendricks, in their book “Conscious Loving”, talk about the importance of acknowledgement in relationships. I think this is an undiscovered area of pleasure that can be mined for mutual pleasure. But it is interesting how hard it can feel. It is like we have been trained ‘not’ to acknowledge each other.
I call it ‘generosity of spirit’ when you are willing to be generous with positive words. The other day, I was rushing around getting stuff done before our trip and a woman complimented me on my outfit—shorts and a green top. It so took me by surprise, but put a smile on my face in the midst of all the rushing.
At first, I had to convince Landon that acknowledgement is not about your ego. It is more about being ‘seen’—someone saying—‘I see you and I want you to know that I am thinking something positive about you’. And I believe that sharing those thoughts is a gift.
We’re here in England where Landon has just been competing in the Masters Henley Rowing Regatta in Henley-On-Thames, England. Yesterday, he won two gold medals, in the single sculls event and the double sculls event.
No matter where we are in the world, it feels good to keep doing the same rituals as we go to sleep. It feels like we travel in a bubble of our own little universe together. That feels amazing.
Wishing you all the best from England,
Diane
photos: above: the Thames at night, left: Landon showing his gold medal for the single sculls event and receiving his gold medal for the double sculls event, with his rowing partner, Henry Hamilton.