Independence day is about freedom: freedom to be ourselves without compromise or oppression. On a societal level, we all have a sense of what that means as it is the foundation of the American Dream, but what about freedom as it relates to us personally in an intimate relationship?
The Hindu and Jain traditions call freedom, “moksha,” the release from the cycle of rebirth impelled by the law of karma, the transcendent state attained by this liberation.
Rather than being some remote and unattainable state, I believe this state is attainable and available to us Now, in this present moment, as the FREEDOM or liberation from the reactivity of the mind. You have a mind, but your thoughts do not run you and in the process of withdrawing your life energy from those thoughts, and seeing them for what they are – “programming that you are no longer in agreement with” – you are free to be yourself. To show up in the present moment as you choose to BE. You are no longer repeating your past in an endless loop of karma.
An example from my own life: For those of you who have read Diane’s and my book, “Falling in Love Backwards: an unlikely tale of Happily Ever After”, you will know that I have been plagued by an attraction to beautiful women. Not just that I would enjoy looking at them, but there was some pull towards them, (some attraction, some attachment) depending on whether I was in a relationship or not, and/or depending on how the relationship was getting along.
If I was out of a relationship, then this was obviously a sign from the Universe that I should follow this attraction (the standard: “I saw her across the room and fell in love”), and if I was in a relationship, it might indicate to me that I had something to work on or even make me question the relationship itself.
After much examination of this attraction and recognizing the programming I have been subjected to by our society, I can finally say it is possible to be free of it. While I still recognize a beautiful woman according to society’s current standards of beauty, I am no longer pulled by the recognition. It just doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. It is more like looking at a beautiful sunset or a piece of art. I am so happy with the reality of Diane’s and my relationship that my mind seems to be giving up the struggle that what I have isn’t it. This is such a relief!
And another surprising side benefit is that I find Diane more and more beautiful, which gives us both a lot of pleasure. More on that in weeks to come.
Wishing you all freedom and happiness on this Independence Day,
Landon